A crossover between ‘Doctor Who’ and ‘Star Trek’, published under the pseudonym of Galaxiulo (2024).
The engines of the USS Enterprise hummed steadily as Lieutenant Uhura frowned at her communications console. Strange signals had been flooding in all morning – impossible readings that suggested something was about to materialize right on their bridge.
“Captain,” she called out, swiveling in her chair. “I’m picking up a temporal anomaly directly ahead!”
Kirk leapt to his feet. “Shields up! Mr. Spock, analysis!”
The Vulcan science officer bent over his scanner, one eyebrow raised. “Fascinating. It appears to be a localized disruption in the space-time continuum. Unlike anything in our records.”
A grinding, wheezing sound filled the bridge – like ancient machinery struggling to breathe. The air began to shimmer and distort as a blue rectangular box gradually materialized beside the captain’s chair.
“What in blazes—” Kirk reached for his phaser.
“Scanning,” Spock announced calmly. “The object appears larger on the inside than physically possible.”
The door of the blue box swung open, and a tall, lanky man with wild hair and a bow tie bounded out, arms spread wide.
“Hello! Brilliant! Look at this place! All shiny and button-y!” He spun around, grinning like a child who’d found the greatest playground in the universe. “Oh! People! With the little badges and everything! Marvelous!”
Kirk stepped forward, phaser aimed steadily. “Identify yourself. How did you breach our shields?”
“Oh, that’s easy. The TARDIS doesn’t really care about shields. Or physics, sometimes. Bit temperamental, actually.” The stranger pulled out a strange device that glowed green at the tip. “I’m the Doctor, by the way. Just the Doctor.”
“Doctor who?” Bones asked, medical scanner already in hand.
“Exactly!” The stranger beamed. “And you must be… wait, don’t tell me! The United Space Ship Enterprise! Twenty-third century! Captain James T. Kirk and his intrepid crew exploring the final frontier!”
Spock stepped forward. “Your knowledge of us is extensive. Yet we have no data on you or your… craft.”
“Well, I get around.” The Doctor twirled and addressed the entire bridge. “Saluton, amikoj! Ĉu vi havas bonajn aventurojn en la kosmo?”
The crew exchanged puzzled glances.
“Is that some sort of code?” Kirk demanded.
The Doctor’s face fell. “Oh, that’s odd. The TARDIS translation matrix should be working perfectly. You should all understand me no matter what language I’m speaking.”
“We understood your English perfectly,” Uhura said, rising from her station. “But that other language…”
“Esperanto! Universal language! Created to bring people together across boundaries!” The Doctor looked genuinely shocked. “Wait, you mean to tell me that in the 23rd century, with all your universal translators and whatnot, you don’t speak Esperanto?”
Kirk glanced at Spock, who shook his head. “Mr. Spock, what do you make of this?”
“It appears our visitor believes Esperanto to be more widespread than historical records indicate.”
The Doctor paced around the bridge, muttering to himself. “That’s impossible. The Great Linguistic Renaissance of 2192 should have made Esperanto the diplomatic standard across the Federation. Unless…” He froze, eyes wide. “Oh! OH! I’ve landed in a parallel timeline! Of course! In this universe, Esperanto never became dominant!”
“Doctor,” Kirk interrupted, lowering his phaser slightly, “perhaps you could explain exactly why you’ve… appeared on my bridge?”
“Right! Yes! Explanations! Good idea!” The Doctor clapped his hands. “There’s a temporal fracture following me. Nasty business. Cracks in time. I was trying to seal one when the TARDIS picked up your ship and decided you might be able to help.”
A warning light began flashing on Spock’s console.
“Captain,” the Vulcan announced, “sensors detect an energy signature approximately 20,000 kilometers off our port bow. It appears to be… a rupture in space-time.”
The Doctor pointed dramatically. “See? Told you! Temporal fracture! And it’s growing!”
Kirk’s communicator chirped. “Scotty to bridge! Captain, the warp core’s acting mighty strange! Something’s pulling at the dilithium crystals like I’ve never seen!”
The Doctor pulled out his sonic screwdriver again. “Your warp drive! That’s it! If we can reverse the polarity of your warp field and combine it with the TARDIS’s dimensional stabilizers, we might just close that fracture before it swallows half the quadrant!”
Kirk looked skeptical but nodded to Spock. “Mr. Spock, escort our… guest to engineering. If this fracture is as dangerous as he claims, we need to act quickly.”
“Mi helpos vin savi la universon!” the Doctor exclaimed, practically bouncing toward the turbolift.
“What did he say?” Kirk asked.
Spock raised an eyebrow. “I believe he intends to help us, Captain.”
Three hours later, after much frantic engineering, strange tools, and Scotty’s increasingly colorful Scottish exclamations, the temporal fracture was sealed. The Doctor emerged from the TARDIS on the bridge, dusting off his hands.
“Well! That was exciting! Your Mr. Scott is quite the genius, even if he did keep threatening to ‘clout me one’ whenever I touched anything!”
Kirk smiled for the first time since the blue box had appeared. “So the danger is past?”
“Absolutely! Sealed tight as a drum. Or a temporal lock. Which is much tighter than a drum, actually.”
“Then I suppose it’s time for you to leave?”
“Fraid so! Places to go, times to see!” The Doctor paused at the door of his TARDIS. “But I’ve been thinking about this Esperanto business. Bit of a shame it didn’t catch on in your timeline.”
“Perhaps,” Spock observed, “language is not universal, but understanding can be.”
“Wise words, Mr. Spock!” The Doctor grinned. “Maybe I’ll visit again someday and teach you all a few phrases. Ĝis la revido, amikoj!”
With that, he disappeared into the blue box. Moments later, the strange grinding noise filled the bridge again, and the TARDIS faded from view.
Kirk settled back into his chair. “Mr. Sulu, resume our previous course.”
“Aye, Captain.”
“And Mr. Spock… what was that last thing he said?”
Spock’s eyebrow raised slightly. “‘Until we meet again, friends.’ I took the liberty of accessing the ship’s linguistic database.”
Kirk smiled. “I have a feeling we haven’t seen the last of the Doctor.”
The TARDIS appeared on the deck of the USS Enterprise, surprising the crew. The Doctor emerged, smiling, and said, ‘Saluton! Mi estas la Doktoro. Ĉu vi parolas Esperanton?’
Captain Kirk, a little confused, replied, ‘Jes, ni ĉiuj parolas Esperanton ĉi tie.’ The Doctor grinned. ‘Bonege! Tiam ni povas komenci la aventuron sen lingvaj baroj.’