{"id":3798,"date":"2025-02-14T16:53:28","date_gmt":"2025-02-14T16:53:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/martinemussies.nl\/web\/?p=3798"},"modified":"2025-02-14T16:53:29","modified_gmt":"2025-02-14T16:53:29","slug":"a-nightmare-on-valentines-day-about-the-nervous-system-and-its-resilience","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/martinemussies.nl\/web\/a-nightmare-on-valentines-day-about-the-nervous-system-and-its-resilience\/","title":{"rendered":"A Nightmare on Valentine’s Day \u2013 About the Nervous System and its Resilience"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Valentine’s Day is sunny and cold. I\u2019m sitting on a bench with my vegan almond matcha and a vegan sandwich, looking out at my beloved Dom Tower. The sun reflects off the stones and the water, people stroll by with flowers and gifts, and a warm, loving atmosphere hangs in the air. I stand up and walk to the bin to throw away a tissue. <\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

When I walk back to the bench, I notice that my backpack, which had been sitting beside me, is gone. Stolen. My breath catches in my throat. My heart rate spikes. In the blink of an eye, I realise what\u2019s happened. My bag is gone. My Korean and Japanese textbooks. My bike helmet. The handmade Valentine’s gifts I had prepared. And a huge bunch of keys for my cat-sitting duties. A cold shiver runs down my spine. The world seems to shift, and I feel myself growing cold. As if I\u2019m imploding. A nightmare \u2013 unreal, distant, distorted, or even fabricated. Fake. This can\u2019t be real.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My brain immediately switches to autopilot. Everything around me fades, my hearing sharpens, and my body tenses. Crisis mode. It\u2019s as if the world is moving too quickly and, at the same time, slowing down. My thoughts are suddenly razor-sharp and goal-oriented: what do I do now? When I explain to the kind officer at the police station what\u2019s happened, I realise that I\u2019m stuck in a state of heightened stress \u2013 hyperarousal. It\u2019s as if I\u2019m watching from the outside as my autistic traits intensify. Finding words becomes difficult, my flexibility in thinking seems gone, and my body feels rigid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What\u2019s happening in my brain?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When an intense stressor occurs, such as the sudden loss of something valuable, the nervous system is immediately activated. The sympathetic nervous system, responsible for the “fight-or-flight” response, takes control and puts the body into a state of readiness. This manifests in an increased heart rate and rapid breathing, as if the body is preparing for a physical emergency. At the same time, attention sharpens, which can lead to tunnel vision and heightened sensitivity to stimuli. While this can be helpful for responding quickly, it\u2019s often accompanied by a reduction in flexibility in thinking and communication.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Additionally, executive functions like planning, flexible thinking, and emotional regulation become less well-controlled. This is because the prefrontal cortex \u2013 the part of the brain responsible for rational thinking and self-regulation \u2013 becomes less active during acute stress. As a result, it becomes harder to maintain an overview and act logically. There may also be a feeling of dissociation: an experience of unreality or detachment, as if the situation isn\u2019t really happening. This is a protective mechanism of the brain to dampen the emotional impact of the event.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For autistic individuals, this stress response can be more intense and prolonged. The nervous system needs more time to calm down, and the heightened tension can lead to a shutdown or meltdown. This means that someone might temporarily be less able to speak, act, or respond to the environment. Where others may recover after a short time, the nervous system of autistic people often stays in overdrive for longer, making it harder to return to a calmer state.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What helps to recover from stress?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Because I know that my nervous system is in overdrive, I consciously look for ways to calm down. The first thing that helps is grounding myself in the here and now. Simple sensory stimuli bring me back to the moment: I feel the cold in my hands, plant my feet firmly on the ground, and focus on my breathing. This helps anchor my attention in reality, rather than being swept away by the chaos in my mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It also helps to take clear, structured steps. Instead of staying in panic mode, I focus on concrete actions. I report the theft, ask for help, and try to stay as goal-oriented as possible. By completing these steps one by one, I give my brain a sense of direction and prevent the stress from overwhelming me entirely. Seeking support plays a big role as well. Chatting and talking helps me organise my thoughts and structure the situation. I noticed that the officer immediately recognised that I\u2019m autistic, and he adapted his communication style accordingly, staying calm and clear. His structured approach helps me process the situation more effectively.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Finally, once the worst of the stress has passed, I try to get back into my rhythm and routine. Doing something familiar and repetitive, like learning words with Duolingo or drinking a warm beverage, helps calm my nervous system. When I also pet Boris \u2013 the Bengal Tiger Cat<\/a> \u2013 neurologically something beautiful happens: petting a cat activates the parasympathetic nervous system, which increases the production of oxytocin. This hormone, often referred to as the ‘cuddle hormone’, helps reduce stress, calm the heart rate, and fosters a sense of well-being and connection. All of this helps me return from overdrive to a more stable state.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The resolution: my backpack returned<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the initial shock and visiting the police station, I check my phone for updates and share the news with friends. Fortunately, they respond that my bag has been found, rifled through and abandoned in an alley. Apparently, my power bank and bike helmet were valuable enough to take, but the thiefs were not interested in learning Korean and Japanese. My gifts are gone without a trace. Still, with my familiar bag and books back in my hands, I feel my nervous system slowly begin to settle again. I feel deep gratitude towards the museum<\/a> staff member who had seen my bag and contacted Japan Fans<\/a> & Japanese Cultural Centre<\/a>. I take a deep breath, and little by little, I feel the reality beneath my feet become firmer. Right now, I\u2019m still shaking \u2013 literally \u2013 but this experience is a reminder: my nervous system reacts intensely, and I also know how to help myself. And that\u2019s strength. Resilience.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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