{"id":3643,"date":"2024-04-30T19:24:34","date_gmt":"2024-04-30T19:24:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/martinemussies.nl\/web\/?p=3643"},"modified":"2024-05-01T07:48:31","modified_gmt":"2024-05-01T07:48:31","slug":"the-butterfly-effect-of-access-intimacy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/martinemussies.nl\/web\/the-butterfly-effect-of-access-intimacy\/","title":{"rendered":"The Butterfly Effect of Access Intimacy"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Some thoughts for a new book on <a href=\"http:\/\/martinemussies.nl\/web\/current-academic-research-projects\/inside-the-autside\/\">autism<\/a>&#8230;? Also published on <a href=\"https:\/\/the-art-of-autism.com\/tag\/martine-mussies\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">The Art of Autism<\/a> (ENG) and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.autismedigitaal.nl\/veelzijdig\/het-butterfly-effect-van-access-intimacy\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Autisme is Veelzijdig<\/a> (abbreviated Dutch version).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\"><figure class=\"aligncenter size-large\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/martinemussies.nl\/web\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/04\/image-1-1024x925.png\" alt=\"The Butterfly Effect of Access Intimacy\" class=\"wp-image-3645\"\/><figcaption><em>Miss Jacky Cello and me &#8211; and butterflies &#8211; photographed by Anna Coll\u00e9.<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p><em>In the muggy classroom, even the most recalcitrant boys now seemed too lame to argue. It was a scorching hot day, a few days before the summer holidays. The textbook for Dutch language was finished and the textbook for calculation was far from it, but I believe the teacher had given up on that by now, too. What the heck, it\u2019s almost vacation time anyway, and after that we won\u2019t be her concern. The class discussion began, with the question of the week being, \u201cWhat kind of job would you like to do when you grow up?\u201d The GP\u2019s daughter wanted to become a doctor herself later; the teacher praised her ambitions. Teacher\u2019s daughter wanted to be a teacher; teacher\u2019s approval of that too. Then it was my turn. I thought for a moment, there is so much exciting stuff in the world I could do\u2026 something with animals, for example, or maybe I could become a baker? But on the whole, most of all\u2026. \u201cWhen I am a grown-up, I would like to work in a library,\u201d I said with a big smile on my face. The teacher looked surprised at first and then started smiling smugly. \u201cYou! In a library! Well, Martine, you can\u2019t even spell your own name yet, so put that out of your mind!\u201d Along with the teacher, the other children laughed at me. My cheeks burned and tears pricked behind my eyes. I felt awful. And besides, it was not even true what she said; in fact, I could spell my own name very well, in very many ways.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Fast forward to some 30 years later. Too bad I can\u2019t show the little, ambitious aspiring librarian from then a video of my reality now. Not sure about the grown-up part, by the way, as I have more toys than ever and still dress like I am eight and celebrate my birthday. But more importantly: I work as a librarian in the medieval city centre, in a magnificent cathedral that is literally filled to the brim with sheet music.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>How can that be? Well, in a nutshell, that is the concept of <em>Access Intimacy<\/em>. Defined by disability justice activist and writer Mia Mingus (in 2011), Access Intimacy is about mutual understanding and ease of access between individuals with disabilities and their allies. Unlike other forms of intimacy, such as emotional or physical intimacy, access intimacy focuses specifically on the ways in which people with disabilities navigate their environments and relationships. Access Intimacy is built on trust, communication and a willingness to learn and adapt to the needs of others. For people with disabilities, access intimacy can contribute to a sense of autonomy and belonging by allowing them to fully participate in social, professional and recreational activities. In my case, this means concretely that in the church, the activities I can handle and what I am good at gather around me, so to speak, instead of having to constantly frantically try to squeeze myself into the non-fitting mould of demands and expectations, as I experienced in previous workplaces. In other words: I am succeeding precisely because I dare to show myself more and more.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>For instance, recently we needed the sheet music of William Byrd\u2019s \u201cLaetentur caeli\u201d to sing in a service. Of course, at this announcement, I immediately lapsed into my old, familiar, negative spirals. My thoughts ran wild: \u201cOh dear, what did it sound like, what letters could these be, do any of these words mean anything to me, is there something that sounds like this in my memory?\u201d I could easily have spent an hour haphazardly snatching sheet music from the cabinets like this, hoping to stumble across it by chance and recognise it. But just when I want to accept this doomsday scenario as my potential reality, the conductor interrupts my pondering: \u201cWould you mind grabbing it out of the bookcase? Byrd is spelled with a Greek Y and Laetentur starts with \u2018L-A-E\u2019&#8230;\u201d Oh yeah, by the BY\u2026 and as long as I know where to start looking, I often have it in my hands within seconds.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It feels so comforting that I never have to ask about it and never have to explain anything about my needs \u2013 a realization that is hard to put into words, as elusive as it is comfortable, akin to relief and reassurance. A bit like when I gently try the bathwater with a hand or foot and notice that it is exactly the right temperature. So this is how it feels when an outer world connects to your inner world and vice versa \u2013 a rather unique sensation in my life. I experience it as a sense of connection, founded on good communication and understanding. At such times, I see disability (any disability) as something normal in human life, and have little to none negative thoughts about myself. It helps me to be open about my feelings and make space for the other person. We can be in the moment and support each other. Sure, I\u2019m autistic and dyslexic and 20 more things\u2026 so what? The conductor just knows how I think and work \u2013 and it\u2019s not a problem. His attitude of non-judgmental acceptance suddenly makes a workplace accessible.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This is how one person can make a difference and create a \u201cButterfly Effect\u201d. Just as the wings of a butterfly can start a chain reaction or domino effect (to eventually cause a hurricane on the other side of the world), small actions of inclusiveness and understanding can create big changes in society. When a workplace shapes itself around the needs of people with different backgrounds and skills, it not only helps that one specific employee, but enriches the whole environment. Creating a culture of respect, acceptance and inclusiveness thus leads to better collaboration, innovation and creativity within teams and organisations. I feel fortunate and wish everyone to be known and appreciated like this, not despite, but because of how you are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Access Intimacy, as far as I am concerned, is therefore not only about what one person or institution can do for another person, but also about how you interact together and take responsibility for each other. It means thinking about how we treat each other, how we feel vulnerable and how power is distributed between people. The real answer comes by learning how to be better together, by understanding that we all depend on each other and that we need to work together. Accessibility and understanding are not just nice perks, they are essential in a just, fair, and righteous society.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\"><figure class=\"aligncenter\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/the-art-of-autism.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/TheArtofAutism.png\" alt=\"\"\/><\/figure><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Some thoughts for a new book on autism&#8230;? Also published on The Art of Autism (ENG) and Autisme is Veelzijdig (abbreviated Dutch version).<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[49,51],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3643","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-autism","category-blog"],"aioseo_notices":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v25.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>The Butterfly Effect of Access Intimacy &#187; Martine Mussies<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/martinemussies.nl\/web\/the-butterfly-effect-of-access-intimacy\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The Butterfly Effect of Access Intimacy &#187; Martine Mussies\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Some thoughts for a new book on autism&#8230;? 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