{"id":4272,"date":"2026-01-26T18:42:00","date_gmt":"2026-01-26T18:42:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/martinemussies.nl\/web\/?p=4272"},"modified":"2026-02-02T16:14:58","modified_gmt":"2026-02-02T16:14:58","slug":"the-cross-eyed-pianist-interview","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/martinemussies.nl\/web\/the-cross-eyed-pianist-interview\/","title":{"rendered":"The Cross-Eyed Pianist\u00a0Interview"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

This interview for The Cross-Eyed Pianist<\/em> was recorded a little over a year ago. Reading it now feels like opening a time capsule, a reflection on music, neurodiversity, curiosity, and the quiet joy of seeing dreams slowly take shape.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

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What have been the greatest challenges of your career so far?<\/strong>
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The greatest challenges in my career have all, in one way or another, stemmed from navigating an autistic mind in non-autistic societies. They range from practical obstacles to deeper existential questions about how to define and sustain a career that honours my unique way of thinking.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The first challenge is planning\u2014a difficulty that may feel universal but takes on added layers with autism. Like most musicians, I sometimes underestimate how long it will take to prepare a concert programme. But for me, the hurdles extend beyond time management to include the practicalities of arriving at the right place, at the right time, with the right equipment. There have been moments of near-panic, like sprinting to a nearby shop ten minutes before a concert because I remembered my concert dress but forgot stockings.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The second challenge lies in my wide-ranging interests and insatiable curiosity. I am captivated by every facet of music: from exploring different styles and learning multiple instruments to arranging, improvising, and composing. While this versatility can be an asset, it often makes it hard to focus, and I sometimes feel pulled in too many directions at once.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This leads to the third challenge: I don\u2019t fit neatly into conventional boxes. For example, during my pre-conservatory training, I was introduced to a piano piece by Jan K\u0159titel Va\u0148hal, a composer I had never encountered before. My curiosity was instantly piqued, and I delved into research, digging through library archives and Czech websites to learn about his life and work. Inspired, I created a little pop-up book about him\u2014an idea that spiralled into dreams of an EP, live performances with visual projections, and more. My teacher gently reminded me that while this was creative and interesting, perhaps the time could have been better spent perfecting my scales. It\u2019s a moment that has stayed with me, emblematic of the tension between my interdisciplinary inclinations and the traditional structures of the music world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite these challenges, I graduated from the preparatory course cum laude, with additional subjects beyond the standard curriculum. Yet, life took a more difficult turn. Personal circumstances, including an abusive relationship, led to me leaving the conservatory. Determined to continue my journey, I shifted my focus to musicology, completed my theory courses in evening classes (just barely, given my ongoing struggles with planning), and eventually re-entered conservatory training to earn my teaching qualification. From there, I went on to win several scholarships, complete my performance exams (MMus), and pursue musicology at master\u2019s and research master\u2019s levels.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For over a decade, I poured my energy into Encore!Magazine<\/em>, a Dutch-language publication aimed at introducing young people to classical music. It was a labour of love, with print runs reaching 5,000 copies, and it was even used as teaching material in secondary schools and music academies. That project taught me the power of combining classical music, modern media, education and artistry – themes that continue to inspire my work.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now, as a PhD student, I find that the challenge of navigating a neurotypical world remains. My way of reasoning and functioning is not \u201cstandard,\u201d but I don\u2019t see that as a flaw\u2014it\u2019s simply different and can sometimes be my \u201cunfair advantage\u201d as well. I often describe it as being like a Linux machine: everything works perfectly, just not in the same way as a PC or Mac. The difficulty arises when I need to communicate in a world optimised for those other systems; translation, whether literal or metaphorical, doesn\u2019t always come easily. What sustains me through these challenges is the belief that difference is not a weakness, but a strength. The unique perspective I bring as an autistic musician and researcher has allowed me to create projects and connections that feel authentic and meaningful. While the path isn\u2019t always smooth, it is deeply rewarding, and I wouldn\u2019t trade it for anything.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Who or what inspired you to pursue a career in music and who or what have been the most important influences on your musical life and career?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

A difficult question, for I owe so much to many people. First of all I am grateful that my parents always encouraged me to follow what made me happy, to seek out what gave me both joy and fulfillment. I also owe much to the teachers who saw potential in me during times when I struggled to realise it myself. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

A special mention must also go to my harpsichord teacher, a \u201cmerchant of music and stories,\u201d as he likes to call himself. His support and belief in me have been a constant source of strength, even to this day. I\u2019m deeply grateful for the way he has championed my work and inspired me to keep pursuing my artistic dreams. The same holds true for the Maestro, our choir conductor, who has been a steadfast source of encouragement and support. His quiet gestures of access and understanding have made a profound difference in my life. It is his non-judgmental acceptance, his quiet belief in my abilities, that makes me feel not only capable but truly seen, not despite my differences but because of the unique perspectives and skills I bring.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Inspiration often came from the lives of remarkable women\u2014artists, mystics, and musicians whose stories resonated deeply with me. Figures like Hildegard von Bingen and Hadewych, who combined spirituality and creativity, have always felt like guiding lights. Clara Schumann, too, has been a profound influence, not only as a composer but as a symbol of grace, strength, and resilience in a world that rarely celebrated women\u2019s artistry.

As a child, I spent many quiet afternoons tucked away in the school library, captivated by the stories hidden within its shelves. One day, I came across \u201cPolonaise\u201d, a slim book by the Flemish author Gerda Van Cleemput. Its title intrigued me, and as I read, I was transported into the world of Clara Schumann. At that moment, I decided I wanted to play the piano too\u2014though I quickly abandoned the dream of becoming as famous as her! Still, Clara\u2019s music stayed with me. I began playing her pieces, including her Polonaises, and later returned to her compositions during my musicology studies. Recently, Clara\u2019s song “Ich stand in dunkeln Tr\u00e4umen” became part of my project The Fipple Flutist<\/em>. This hauntingly beautiful work, written in 1844 and set to a text by Heinrich Heine, speaks to Clara\u2019s poetic depth. It was a privilege to explore Clara\u2019s music in this way, and it deepened my connection to her story.
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