{"id":2243,"date":"2020-10-29T12:43:27","date_gmt":"2020-10-29T12:43:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/martinemussies.nl\/web\/?p=2243"},"modified":"2022-04-07T20:17:37","modified_gmt":"2022-04-07T20:17:37","slug":"purpose-as-a-brain-hack-to-boost-your-resilience","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/martinemussies.nl\/web\/purpose-as-a-brain-hack-to-boost-your-resilience\/","title":{"rendered":"Purpose as a Brain Hack to boost your Resilience"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

A while ago, I received a postcard of a beautiful Japanese art print. On the backside, someone had written a joke about \u201cfighting like a girl\u201d and concluded with the words \u201cThank you for being a strong woman in our dojo.\u201d I was happy and touched by this act of kindness. But I also felt a bit puzzled. Being a \u201cstrong woman\u201d \u2013 or any person, for that matter \u2013 when you have autism\u2026 is that even possible? In this blog post<\/a> for the website Art of Autism<\/a>, I explore this question through the lens of neuropsychology.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

Around me I see a lot of women I admire, far and near (both in place and in time), but to be frank \u2013 they hardly ever have autism. Because for most of my autistic peers, life is a struggle. If they have ever been described as \u201cstrong\u201d, it was often in the context of their autism \u2013 so strong how they deal with their terrible disorder or something like that (yuk). How come?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Struggle<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

Maybe they have dreams, but then they don\u2019t know how they should ever be able to realize them. Everyday life offers enough challenges. For a long time, my life also felt like juggling with a ball too much. I ran from one thing to the other, desperately trying to get my life in order. And as soon as it seemed to work out just a little bit in one area of my life, it went horribly wrong in another.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I kept up appearances: studied at the university, performed in large concerts, ran my own magazine and television show, published some books of sheet music, and was regularly in the media. In my fantasies, I was a beautiful mermaid, but behind the scenes I was constantly treading water so as not to drown. I am naive, gullible, clumsy, and quick to blame myself. Bad people have often taken advantage of that \u2013 for example the \u201cnice\u201d Dutch violin maker I thought I knew, who turned out to be a swindler who scammed me with a confidence trick. And unfortunately, I see this daily struggle and frustration in the lives of many people with autism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Autism & stress<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

Sadly, stress often causes the less pleasant characteristics of autism to increase in seriousness. The ability to empathise with other (neurotypical) people (aka “theory of mind”) can diminish, people are less able to switch to changes (executive functions), or they remain focused on details instead of the bigger picture (central coherence). This leads to a vicious circle, a self-sustaining pattern in which the person with autism constantly chooses the negative switch, runs on the battery instead of the accumulator, and drains their energy \u201cspoons<\/a>\u201d (Miserandino) and \u201cvessel of self-esteem\u201d (Van Zessen).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I can\u2019t accept that this is \u201cjust\u201d the fate of people with autism. That they\u2019re simply outnumbered and therefore misfits in our society, doomed to live a life full of stress and untapped potential. Bad luck, sucks to be you. No, there must be ways, methods and tricks to become more powerful in life, to make the roots of your tree super strong, magnetic, and firmly grounded. But how? What is the secret?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ineffable Sheila<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

One of the (non-autistic) strong women I know is Sheila<\/a>, a blogger & photographer. She has both a job as well as two (super cute) children, plus a husband \u00e1nd a boyfriend, with whom she travels all over the world. And in her spare time she writes and designs her inspiring weblog. I don\u2019t know how she does it and I\u2019m probably not the only one. Maybe she\u2019s just incredibly lucky? Nope. On her blog Sheila explains that it doesn\u2019t all come naturally for her either. She also has setbacks, and major ones, for that matter. Yet there is a difference between her and most people with autism I know, and that is her attitude. As she writes:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019m just someone who\u2019s confident that things will work out. If not in the way I had hoped, then in a different way. I\u2019ve learned to be flexible and that a lot of things really don\u2019t matter. It can put things into perspective quickly.<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many people with autism just can\u2019t do that. We are not flexible, we are quickly overwhelmed, overexcited and frightened. Still, we can learn something from Sheila\u2019s approach, about how to recover faster after a setback. Moreover, her attitude of looking for the bigger pictures also means that in every hardship she chooses to learn from it, so that in the long term her misfortune also contributes to her self-growth and happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Resilience<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

Resilience is a characteristic that has to do with mental toughness and overcoming whatever life throws at you. Sheila\u2019s story is backed-up by science, as, according to researchers Karen Reivich and Andrew Shatte, \u201c[r]esilience is a crucial ingredient\u2013perhaps the crucial ingredient\u2013to a happy, healthy life.\u201d But what does resilience exactly mean? And how can you cultivate it, to empower yourself as an autistic person?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

In order to increase our resilience, it is important to see what it consists of. That\u2019s why I created the diagram above. As you can see, like most traits, resilience is a combination of nature and nurture, your Self and your surroundings. Although it might be true that most people with autism are born with a disadvantage when it comes to resilience \u2013 as we are notorious for being inflexible for example \u2013 even in this area there are benefits in being autistic, as we are often more sensitive to what I call \u201cBrain Hacks\u201d. That probably sounds a bit scary, but is rather basic biology.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Brain Hacks<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

If you are stressed and\/or unhappy, you can call for one of your brain\u2019s seven messengers of good fortune. Let me introduce these neurotransmitters to you:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First there is Endorphin<\/strong>, which you produce during sports, during sex, and while completing small everyday tasks, such as posting a letter or drying the dishes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Second in line is Serotonin.<\/strong> Although this is a neurotransmitter, about 90-95% of the total amount of serotonin is produced in your intestines. You stimulate the production by healthy habits such as eating breakfast in the morning, consuming enough vitamins and minerals, and absorbing enough sunlight. But it is also present in milk and chocolate (no wonder that people experience fuzzy hygge from drinking hot chocolate).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Third is Adrenaline<\/strong>, also known as epinephrine, which gives you energy, the feeling of being alive \u2013 an antibody against boredom. People who participate in extreme sports get excited from the adrenaline rush, because of their extreme focus. We will get back to this focus, that many people with ASD might recognize from being engaged in their special interests. For me, this resonates with Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi\u2019s concept of \u2018flow,\u2019 which I experience when I am fully emerged in my autistic hyperfocus, working on something that makes me think \u201cyes \u2013 this is why I\u2019m here for.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As the fourth messenger we have Oxytocin<\/strong> aka the cuddle or binding hormone. Contrary to popular belief, you do not need a significant other next to you to stimulate the oxytocin production. It also comes from thoughts about trust, intimacy and friendship (see also the \u201ccontext\u201d section of the diagram above). From stroking a pet or plush animal, and even from chocolate and a warm bath, the cosy feelings are caused by oxytocin.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Number five is GABA<\/strong> \u2013 short for Gamma-Aminobutyric acid (an amino acid) \u2013 which is a natural anxiety suppressant evoked by being focused, for example in yoga, meditation, making music, practising your religion, and martial arts. You can also get some GABA through your food, by eating cocoa, tempeh, broccoli, spinach, tomatoes, potatoes, citrus and various nuts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The sixth neurotransmitter I\u2019d like to mention is Anandamide<\/strong>, which comes from the Sanskrit word ananda, which means something like \u201chappiness, joy, bliss, delight\u201d. It is the origin of your \u201crunners high\u201d or other delight experienced during and after sportive activities. Anandamide can also be found in black truffles, for example, chocolate can help boost it, and black pepper also can increase anandamide\u2019s physiological effects.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Last but not least, there is Dopamine<\/strong>, the organic chemical that is released when we work on our goals and see progress in ourselves. I saved this one till the end, because in my view, dopamine can show you your way, as it makes you feel good and comfortable whilst working on your goals. And while you are doing so, you will almost automatically meet all the other neurotransmitters described above.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Goal setting<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

So, what\u2019s a goal? Antoine de Saint Exupery asserts that \u201ca goal without a plan is just a dream,\u201d and many people have said similar things. Such as Dr Phil: \u201cThe difference between a dream and a goal is a timeline and accountability.\u201d (Click here<\/a> to read my blog on goal setting.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

By setting yourself SMART goals you can shape your life as a meaningful road towards your \u201cWHY\u201d (as Simon Sinek calls it). Moreover, working on your goals will help you to focus on the bigger picture.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One of my goals, for example, is to make music for other people. That\u2019s why I\u2019m a chorister. Truth to be told: I\u2019m not the best singer. Seriously. My voice doesn\u2019t always do what I want, my sight-reading is flaky, I lack steadiness, my blending, intonation, diction and balance within our choir are suboptimal, I often lose my sheet music, and I struggle to anticipate the rhythm\/tempo of the conductor. Thus, I often make stupid mistakes for which I beat myself up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But I can get over all these things more easily since I started to focus on the bigger picture, which is: what we as a choir have to offer to our audience. What difference does that one little glitch at a rehearsal make in the larger context? Little \u2013 or even nothing. In our beautiful church we honour a tradition that goes back centuries, and we touch and move people with our music. And that is one of my goals, that contributes to my purpose in life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Goals come in all shapes and sizes, of course, but the goals you benefit most from in the end are those on your way to meaning and purpose. For me, these goals are the reasons to get up in the morning. Goal setting will influence your attitude towards all the factors in the image above, thus boosting your overall resilience.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

TLDR: the biggest brain hack is finding your purpose.<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n
\"Living<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Disclaimer:<\/em> this essay is an \u2018auti-ethnography\u2019 of the exploration of my own resilience and purpose, surrounded by practical tools and selected stories, and firmly grounded in (neuro)psychology. Although I hope that my writing inspires you to reflect on your own path, it is by no means meant as a self-help article and cannot substitute for the advice of a mental health professional.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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